Tag: Writing

To Comma or Not to Comma? That is the Question

I am constantly encountering one grammatical error in unpublished manuscripts and even traditionally published books that I’d like to address here.

But before I answer that question, here are two definitions that will be useful in understanding this comma dilemma. The first definition is for “independent clause.” An independent clause is a string of related words containing a subject (a noun, pronoun, or proper name) and a verb (the action the subject is taking). This string of words can stand alone as a sentence. Example: My stomach grumbled. “Stomach” is the subject, “grumbled” is the verb.

The second definition is for “dependent clause.” A dependent clause is a string of related words containing a verb but CANNOT stand alone as a sentence. That last bunch of words following the “but” in the previous sentence is a dependent clause. Some sentences are simple independent clauses. Some sentences are two independent clauses connected by “and” or another conjunction (but, so, because, for). Some sentences pair an independent clause with a dependent clause. The two-independent clause sentence gets a comma before the conjunction for clarity. The independent clause + dependent clause sentence does not.

Let’s see some examples:

I made my lunch and stowed it in my backpack. (Independent clause plus dependent clause. In this case the “and” is connecting the two verbs carried out by the subject of the sentence  – “made” and “stowed.”)

Test: Does “stowed it in my backpack” stand alone as a sentence? No, it is a dependent clause. The verb in the phrase refers back to the subject in the previous clause. The rule: Do not use a comma to separate the verb from its subject.

My mother packed my lunch, and I forgot it on the counter.

Test: Forget the fact that you should have made your lunch yourself – your mother has better things to do, can the two strings of words on either side of the “and” stand alone? Yes. The rule: Two independent clauses connected by “and” require a comma.

Now that you know the rules, try punctuating these sentences (I am not giving you the answers because I think now you know):

I entered the biology lab and realized it was frog-dissecting day.

Frogs croaked from every corner of the room and my stomach churned.

I was too upset to eat lunch so my tuna sandwich moldered in my backpack.

(The above is meant as a bit of a trick. I didn’t use “and” as the conjunction, I used “so.” Same rules apply.)

The kids kept their distance because my backpack stank.

(Another curve ball – instead of “and” or “so,” the conjunction is “because.” Same rules apply.)

I walked in the door and gasped to see ants swarming my forgotten lunch.

I was still hungry so I went to the deli.

The above sentence could be an exception to the rule: Both independent clauses are pretty short. You could probably leave the comma out.

And finally, every story needs a happy ending:

I couldn’t decide between turkey or salami so I ordered a salad instead

One other exception to the rule (English grammar is full of ‘em), is even if the independent clauses are short, you may need the comma for clarity. Example:

I picked up the stinky bag and the flies followed.

Wait! Did I pick up the bag AND the flies? No, “the flies” is the subject of the second independent-but-short clause. So, to avoid misreading, use the comma.

Once you apply these rules to that tricky comma before the “and” question, you will know the answer: Independent clause + independent clause, yes. Independent clause + dependent clause, no.

If you have any grammar questions you want parsed out, let me know! Now go have lunch!

Do Your Research

Dear Readers,

Recently, I paid for a critique on a picture book story that I wrote epistolary style. Epistolary means it is written as a series of letters – so naturally the story will be first person.

I wasn’t worried about the style, as I knew there were quite a few PBs written that way, most notably, Drew Daywalt’s The Day the Crayons Quit, Troy Cummings’ Can I Be Your Dog, and Mark Teague’s Dear Mrs. LaRue series, and I also knew it was a successful format and the best format for the story I wanted to write. My concern for this particular work in progress was the concept.

The person who did the critique is a writer I admire and has written many books in the area I was writing in. Thankfully, they thought the concept was funny and worth pursuing. However, they wrote, they had never heard of any picture books written epistolary style except for one that was very old (and I cannot find in any library near me). And they suggested that I try a different style.

I was shocked, as were my critique partners when I mentioned this to them. They listed many more epistolary style picture books. Based on these conversations, research for comp titles on the internet, and a recent post in one of my Facebook groups for children’s writers, I have compiled a list of picture books written epistolary style. This includes letters, postcards, emails, diary entries, and alien spaceship logs. There are around 30 titles on this list but there are more than that as some of the authors have written series, follow ups, or other books in the same style. (I haven’t given a description or rating of them, nor included the illustrator, as you can find out more about these books on any of the sites for information on books and form your own judgments.)

I realize that as we navigate this world of picture book writing we have a tendency to look to those who have been multi-published for advice and support. But sometimes, the “expert” doesn’t have the answers we seek. Sometimes we just have to trust our own gut, do our own research, and believe that we are the only ones who can give ourselves the best advice.

And I think I just got an idea for a new picture book.

Happy writing!

Sincerely,

Marilyn

P.S. If you think of any book(s) I have left out, please let me know! Perhaps one day, I will add my own to the list!

The List:

Ada, Alma Flor: Dear Peter Rabbit (series) (Atheneum Books, 1997+)

Biedrzycki, David: Invasion of the Unicorns (Charlesbridge, 2021)

Brisson, Pat: Your Best Friend, Kate (Bradbury Press, 1989+)

Brooks, K.S.: Postcards from Mr. Pish (series) (Independent, 2016)

Cronin, Doreen: Diary of a (Worm, Spider, Fly) (HarperCollins, various dates)

Cummings, Troy: Can I Be Your Dog? (Random House, 2018)

Cummings, Troy: Is This Your Class Pet? (Random House, 2022)

Daywalt, Drew: The Day the Crayons Quit (Philomel Books, 2013)

Daywalt, Drew: The Day the Crayons Came Home (Philomel Books, 2015)

Dealey, Erin: Dear Earth … From your Friends in Room 5 (HarperCollins, 2020)

Evans, Christine: Dear Mr. G (Union Square Kids, 2023)

Falatko, Julie: Yours in Books (Harry Abrams, 2021)

Frawley, Katie: Tabitha and Fritz Trade Places (Two Lions, 2021)

Funk, Josh: Dear Dragon: A Pen Pal Tale (Viking Books for Young Readers, 2016)

Gravett, Emily: Meerkat Mail (Simon & Schuster, 2007)

Hendrix, John: Shooting at Stars (Harry N. Abrams, 2014)

Hobbie, Holly: Toot & Puddle (v1) (Little, Brown and Company, 2010)

James, Simon: Dear Mr. Blueberry (Aladdin, 1996)

Kelly, Irene: A Small Dog’s Big Life: Around the World with Owney (Holiday House, 2005)

Latham, Irene: Love, Agnes: Postcards from an Octopus (Millbrook Press, 2018)

McAnulty, Stacy: Dear Santasaurus (Boyds Mills Press, 2013)

Olson, Shannon: A Letter From Your Teacher on the First Day of School (2021); A Letter From Your Teacher on the Last Day of School (2022) (Both published by Shannon Olson)

Orloff, Karen Kaufman: I Wanna Iguana (G.P. Putnam and Sons, 2004); I Wanna New Room (2010); I Wanna Go Home (2014)

Pattison, Darcy: The Journey of Oliver K Woodman (HMH Books for Young Readers, 2003)

Rex, Adam: XO, OX: A Love Story (Roaring Brook Press, 2017)

Stein, David Ezra: Love, Mouserella (Nancy Paulsen Books, 2011)

Stewart, Sarah: The Gardener (Square Fish, reissue 2007)

Stewart, Sarah: The Quiet Space (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2012)

Teague, Mark: Dear Mrs. LaRue: Letters From Obedience School (Scholastic Press, 2003) Plus three more

I am NOT an Aspiring Writer

by Marilyn Wolpin

I am NOT an aspiring writer. I AM a writer. I write stories for children, haikus, letters to the editor, blogs, and queries. I don’t aspire to write these. I just do it.

According to Webster’s to aspire is to hope to achieve something. Do you “aspiring” writers hope to achieve writing? I don’t think so.

I think the hope is that we become published writers. We believe this feat is validation that we are indeed writers. This victory must mean that our words have won over the gatekeepers: an agent, an editor, a team at the acquisition meeting. Oh, how our hopes have turned to reality. Now we are truly writers.

It also means that since I am published, I can remove “aspiring” from my Twitter or Facebook profile. No.

You are defeating yourself by saying you are an aspiring writer. You know the art and craft of writing. You use luscious language, you leave room for the illustrator, you use a combination of short and long sentences, you have a theme, an arc, all the elements. You go to your desk every morning or when you can. You type words into your computer. You revise. You revise some more. You think about your work in the shower, on your walks, in the grocery store, in your dreams.

Guess what that means? You are a writer. No “aspiring” necessary. You don’t need validation from the gatekeepers. You only need it from yourself.

Saying you are an aspiring writer is begging. It’s a psychological deterrent. A writer’s block. Does a musician call him or herself aspiring? When she practices a Bach two-part invention over and over, does she say I am an aspiring pianist? I hope she does not. Does an artist call herself aspiring before she has a show or sells her art? I think not.

So don’t ASPIRE to be a writer. Just DO it. The joy is in the doing. Stop hoping that you are a writer and start believing that you are a writer. I promise it will give you strength.